fuck your life.

i'm so sick of trying to win you over, are you even worth the struggle? at times, i feel like things might actually get better between us, i don't even think you realize there's something is wrong. why have things been so different? you've changed so much, can you tell? am i the only one that has noticed? maybe i liked you more when you were naive, you seem to care about the useless things in life now. i'm watching you throw your life away slowly, i try to stop you, but how long do i have to keep trying to save you? i feel so dirty and used. since when was i your back up? since when did you start preferring them. at times i find myself blaming only me for this, but is this really my fault? you keep complaining about these things that happen to you, but YOU set yourself up for this only you. i wonder if you know you've changed so much, and this hurts me. sure people change, but i miss the way things were when we didn't need drugs to have fun. sometimes i think you do these things to impress others, but i you always say you don't care. i know you do. i take SO much bullshit from you sometimes it feels like things will be the way they once were then something makes you change again it's a weird confusing cycle. the real you is lost some where. i hope someday i can find you again, i miss you.